1 My Hope and Joy: 2015

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

A Lot Has Happened In Six Months!

From the time I wrote my last post, to now, quite a bit has transpired.  We have two foster kids with us!  TWO?!  Yes.  Two.

In going to trainings and gathering information over the summer, we discovered the strong need for homes to take sibling sets and how traumatizing it was for foster kids to not only be ripped away from their families and support systems, but also their siblings.  It grew heavier and heavier on our hearts that we were to take more than one.

Enter our cutie pie, little O.  We had just got back from vacation to the mid-west early that morning...1am to be exact.  At 9am, we got a call asking us to consider a little 2-year-old boy that needed a home.  We asked questions, prayed together as a family, asked more questions, and finally agreed to take him.  They asked us to pick him up at 1pm at the office.  So, what did we do?  Put our suitcases away and cleaned our house like mad people!

When we arrived, he was in a conference room, playing with some toys, sitting next to the emergency CSW.  We talked for a few minutes with them, met our social worker, and then everyone just disappeared.  And it was all of us....and this little, sweet boy, who we were now in charge of.  We led him out of the office, with his hand in mine, with no tears or questions.  A very simple walk to the car, watching leaves blow across the parking lot.  We buckled him up, and started the ride to....Target.  That's right.  We needed clothes for this little one, diapers, toys, and everything else we could think of.


Sunday, August 16, 2015

Foster To Adopt Paperwork and Assignments Process

Has it really been five months since I've posted about our progress with the Foster-to-Adopt program?  My intention was to document each step of the way, however, summer, life, craziness, and a thousand other things must have crept in.

We did submit our initial application, and now, five months later, we are ALMOST CERTIFIED!  What?!  It seems almost surreal.  We're doing this!  We're almost done!  We're....going to have more kids in the house??!



Our initial packet of information arrived in the mail from Koinonia and we excitedly jumped in.  Names, addresses, general information about us, our families, our kids.  No problem.  A checklist of things to complete like photocopies of our marriage certificate and driver's licenses, vehicle registrations, trainings to complete, DMV driver's records to aquire, employment income verification, and the list goes on.  It really wasn't daunting.

We plowed into our To-Do list with gusto.  Doctor appointments for physicals - which were mostly listening to heart, lungs, blood pressure, weight, height, and a tb test.

Then the trainings began.  Most of these were on a Tuesday night or all-day Saturdays.  There weren't too many and between those and the CPR training, we made it to all of them, meeting two wonderful families doing the exact same things as us along the way.    It was difficult to find someone willing to watch our boys for that length of time at times, but our dearest friends would all work together and pull through for us every time.

A second packet came along requiring more information on our extended families and relationships with them.  None of the packets or applications took much time.  A third and final packet was more signing your understanding of the process and what is required of you.

The inspections for the home were not nearly as horrible as I had worked myself up to believe they would be.  No, they did not scrounge around through every single cabinet in the home.  (I may have had a friend come over and completely organize my linens closet - but this was very much unnecessary.)  They aren't inspecting with white gloves.  They aren't looking to hope to find something.  They are inspecting to be sure it's a safe environment for a child to live.  We had to fix the usual...install locks on cabinets for knives and meds, make sure our trash can had a lid because it sits in the pantry, and a few other things that were small.

After all of these were complete, we began our home study...the interviews.  I stressed about those just as much as someone looking at my house.  And the stress was also unnecessary.  The social worker that came asked us questions together about us as a couple, how we operate as a family, and then asked us individual questions based on the previous applications we had submitted.  She asked the boys questions, but we were able to stay with them during the interview.

I would say there was not one part of this whole process so far that was unbearable, or too intrusive, or too difficult.  Yes, there were challenges, but we tend to be more of open books.

So far, so good!  Our final home study visit to have us review the Home Study packet is in a week.  Two more employees of Koinonia will review it, which usually takes a couple of weeks, and then we will be officially certified!  And accepting placements!



Oh....and did I mention we are considering sibling sets?  :)

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Here We Go!

We've received an application and should be submitting it to Koinonia tomorrow!  It's real!  We're doing this!  Adoption here we come!

Adoption Steps

Well it's been a day over a month since I posted about adoption.  Not much has changed as far as steps we've taken to progress forward, however, we HAVE gained much knowledge and insight into the workings of the foster to adopt programs available.

I hesitated to state which setbacks we ran into last time because they were hot button topics.  But at this point, I want God to get the glory every step of the way!  Two obstacles stood in our way....or so we thought.  The first was income.  We were told there were certain requirements and from where we stood, it looked like that would be a problem.  Until this last week, when we were told how desperate they are for people to take children and our income would not be a problem in the least.  Thank you, God!  The second was that we don't vaccinate, and the biological children must be vaccinated before you can foster to adopt.  While we still don't agree with vaccinations, we did find a work-around for this particular road block.  And it looks as if we'll be starting with the application process and certifications soon.  Thank you, God, again!

We were able to attend a local adoption support group and were encouraged in some of our fears about the process, and also challenged in some.  It's unnerving to have someone walk into your home, look in every nook and cranny, and tell you what you need to "fix."  But it's also necessary and seeing the end result of adoption will help us get through those hard moments.  We were challenged to consider infants as opposed to older children (especially for our first foster) with the thinking that we can avoid all of the heartache with these children if we can get to them before they are in the system.  And while we did consider this, we also talked with a friend (an adult), who went through the foster system, never having been adopted himself.  He was not so quick to agree.  And when I think about what is on my heart, I must say older children are more of my passion.  I am the first to snuggle a newborn and could sit for hours like that, but my heart goes out to those little ones that already are in the system.

We have signed up with Child SHARE to help us along this journey, and are excited to see God's hand in this.  Today I contact Koinonia to verify a few things, and it looks like that is the way we will go......at least for now.

We pray every night with the kids together about the adoption process, for our future adoptive kid(s), and for wisdom and help.  God is granting these things and we are blessed by it already!

Thursday, February 26, 2015

Crossing The Mid-Line Idea


The more research I do, the more I find fun ideas for vision therapy to make this slightly less monotonous than it probably needs to be.  In my findings, I saw ideas that were homemade, more creative ideas that seemed to make crossing the mid-line more interesting.  While many of them said picking objects up, or placing objects on a table by crossing, I knew my boys would love the idea of whacking something.  So I created this.  I call out a number, and they punch, whack, hit, or otherwise get some aggression out on those unsuspecting numbers by sitting in between the papers and hitting them only using the opposite hand.

We turned this into a game then, which they loved even more.  They get three chances (or more) to follow me calling out numbers with the opposite hand. But if they hit the paper using bilateral movements, they are "out."

We tried it today and it was a hit, so we'll continue this one, along with adding in some other creative ideas I've discovered.

I also ran across these writing 8's papers, and am considering making some of my own in this fashion just to give them some variety.

http://www.therapro.com/Trace-the-8s-P322384C307768.aspx?utm_source=Apr1613Newsletter&utm_medium=Email

This is how it seems to be used:





Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Our Writing-8 Setup

We're about a month into this and have a setup down for completing our Writing-8 exercises.  We've added stickers to the edges of the circles at the point where they were making the circles smaller and smaller unintentionally.  They now have to "hit" the stickers on their way around, which has helped them keep on track.

This particular Writing-8 page had circles that were too large, so we've scaled them down.



We've had some changes taking place!  They are small changes, but changes nonetheless.  CJ accidentally did an entire Math lesson!  He was only supposed to do half, as that was his limit and what I had assigned, but he said he accidentally did the whole thing.  If you were to do school with him before, he could procrastinate and push off a math lesson all day long.  Literally.  Along with this, we've noticed very small changes in his slow demeanor.  He has been using stronger descriptive words in his language, his actions are a little more intentional and not quite as awkward.  These changes are very small, and probably only noticeable to us, but we see them, and he's doing amazing!  We're hopeful that the next 5 months of this produce just as much, if not more, positive change!

Adoption Setbacks

These past few weeks we've been contacting adoption agencies to get their requirements, getting a feel for what we need to do at home to be ready, and getting in touch with others who have been through this process.

Unfortunately we've hit a few setbacks.  Impossible ones?  Nope.  Not for God.  But ones that will be more of a challenge to work through.  I hesitate to say here which ones they are, as parts of them are current hot-button topics.

I feel at a crossroads of sorts.  Do we pursue one way, knowing we probably won't get very far and see many challenges ahead of us?  Or do we pursue the other way, potentially waiting years?  I'm not sure.  But I do know God has answered our prayers before and he will guide us again.

To speak honestly, I'm somewhat discouraged.  I'm not giving up hope or do I feel that God can't do it.  I know He can!  But I've placed expectations on this journey that, of course, were not met.  Don't we have a tendency to do that with many things in life?  Marriage?  Kids?  Life?  I know I do.  But God's timing and process is usually different than ours.  And if we let him take control, we'll be pleasantly surprised at the outcome and how many times it's easier than we think.

So with that, I am encouraged that God has brought us this far.  I am encouraged that He would trust us with this.  I  am encouraged that we've discovered the challenges of going one route that could prevent us many years of heartache before we went that direction.  I am encouraged that God is working behind the scenes for us.  I am encouraged that God is on our side!  I am encouraged that our family is behind us and praying with us.  I am encouraged that we have a support group to help us along.  I am encouraged that God himself cares enough to lead us through this.

Monday, January 19, 2015

Ups and Downs

After discovering that there could be some hiccups in our road to adoption (or as we were thinking, a complete "no" to our adoption attempts), I immediately starting thinking of our Plan "B."  God had just given us this verse of being strong and courageous and here I go trying to take matters into my own hands because the path didn't go exactly the way I had envisioned....and this is only the beginning.

Isn't that just like us?  God gives us a promise and we immediately doubt when it doesn't go like our minds' eye envisioned.  We think perhaps we didn't hear God right to begin with.  We think we can help things along.  We think we should have a backup plan in case God's doesn't work.  And then we have the audacity to look at the Israelites and wonder how they could complain after God had provided so many miracles.  We are no different.

We've been studying about the Exodus in school, but before the Exodus was Abraham and Sarah.  God told them they'd have a baby - and Sarah was old.  Really old.  She wasn't getting any younger so, they decided to take matters into their own hands and Abraham had a son, Ishmael, by Hagar, their slave.  That wasn't God's plan.  They jumped the gun and it caused major rifts and turmoil in their family because of it.  When God did finally give them the child they were promised, out of that lineage came the 12 tribes of Israel.  God gave them their hearts desire and fulfilled the promise he gave them, but it was in his timing.

So, as we wait for this child, even though our desire to have him with us is growing stronger, we will wait until God moves and opens and closes doors.  We will be strong and courageous, even though this road could be bumpy.

Meanwhile, a private organization in L.A. has contacted us again to discuss details and get information.  They seem willing to work with us and our circumstances, as it looks as if private organizations will be able to work more in our favor through adoption.  So for now, that's what we will look into.

I will not be terrified or dismayed for the Lord our God is with us wherever we go.

Friday, January 16, 2015

Be Strong & Courageous; Not Terrified or Discouraged



I originally printed this for Isaiah, who needed some extra encouragement that God was with him at night after a bout of very dark and scary dreams.  He wouldn't enter a room by himself or walk down a hallway by himself if it was dark, and sometimes even during the day.  After a lot of prayer with him and for him, he seems to have broken free of the fears that were holding him, Praise God!

This scripture from Joshua 1:9 was something that was on my heart for awhile to help him memorize, so I made the above image to hang on his wall for him to see at night and for him to review.

It seemed odd to me, then, that I kept coming across this verse in random places, almost like it was more than just for my son.  It almost seemed as if it was for ME!

Yesterday morning I casually mentioned to my husband that this particular verse seemed to be everywhere right now and that maybe we should expect something big that God was going to do and use us in, that we would need strength for.  God used these words to speak to Joshua right before they would go into battle to claim the promised land God had for them.  I asked Matt if he thought we'd be going to battle somehow and maybe it would be with the adoption, as that is a big priority and goal right now.

Wouldn't you know it, but a friend that has been helping us along in this adoption journey stopped by Matt's office yesterday and chatted with him.  Come to find out, our income COULD play a role in whether we can adopt or not.  And then there's the many, many instances of social workers overstepping their boundaries in the news right now.  And we're going to invite these people in?  Lord, help us have faith that what you are bringing us to, you'll bring us through.  Coincidence that God was telling us to be strong and courageous?  Nope, God knows exactly what he's doing.  He gave us this scripture for such a time as this, and not a moment too soon.

I only hope that through our journey of adoption and more importantly, faith, that we are strong, courageous, not afraid or discouraged, because our God is with us and goes before us wherever we go!  I pray we can shine for others and God would get the glory for it all.

Monday, January 12, 2015

Remaining Pure For Life, Not Just Until Marriage

"I am committed to remaining pure until marriage."  I said it.  Thousands upon thousands have said it.  I'm not one to nit-pick.  But somewhere along this road, I've had to work through things I was taught as a child, and sexuality was one of them.  And it still is something I work through.  But this quote gives the impression that once you are married, you are no longer pure.  I beg to differ.

There are certain thoughts I have had to wrestle with and even though I know the truth about them now, I still have skewed ideas about them.  When you've been taught from a young age about something that you view as truth, you have to consciously make an effort every time you think about that thing until slowly, after time, your new views sticks as truth.  And even then you have to make a conscious effort to stand by your new truth and not default to the old. It doesn't usually just change and that's it!  New truth!  You struggle with it.  You wrestle with it.  You claw your way through the muddled thoughts.  But when you do finally make it through the mud, you know what you believe.  For me, sexuality is one of them.

I don't want to say I'm committed to staying pure just until marriage.  I want to say I am committed to staying pure through life!  

Staying pure after marriage just looks different than pre-marriage and it can be just as much as a struggle.  It requires a healthy thought life where you refrain from looking and lusting at others.  It requires being open and transparent in all areas of communication; on phones, texts, messages, social media.  It requires being aware of how others view your body language and conversations, so as not to be flirting or leading someone on.  It requires dressing appropriately so a secondary message isn't being given and so your body is kept pure for the one you've pledged your love to.  Staying pure is a way of living...even after you're married.  After marriage, "pure" changes, it doesn't disappear.  Our pastor just asked this question last week at service, "Are you a trigger?"  Do you purposefully or even unintentionally dress a certain way to attract looks?  Do you flirt in your conversations?  Do you give parts of yourself that should be reserved for your husband or wife, to others?

God created us to be together with our partners.  Sex is not a dirty or bad thing before marriage and then magically becomes beautiful and wonderful after you're married.  It is always a beautiful thing but is meant to be enjoyed between two married people.  It can become perverted, sure.  But just because you are married does not mean that you are no longer pure.  Purity is required for all - unmarried, married, engaged, teens, or for those celebrating a 50 year anniversary.

For now I will say, "I am committed to staying pure through life!"  After all, that's what marriage vows are for.

Saturday, January 3, 2015

The "Buts" Have Got To Go

Have you ever caught yourself saying something along the lines of, "I probably shouldn't say this, but...."?  Or how about "I know I shouldn't do this, but...."?  What about "I probably shouldn't watch this, but...."?  Those "buts" have got to go.

"But" is just a fancy way of saying "ignore everything I just said and listen to THIS!"  If you have to start a sentence with "I probably shouldn't," then you shouldn't.  It's more than likely either gossip, lust, disobedience, spite, or sin and unholiness in some form.  Following up with a "but" doesn't make it any holier.

God tells us clearly he wants whole-hearted commitment.  When we water down God's commands of living a holy, pure life, we do a dis-service to him and as Christianity as a whole.  Do we think this thing we know we're not supposed to do or say is somehow dismissed by our Great Creator and his demand for holiness just because we said we shouldn't do/see/say/think it, but decided to anyway?  The Bible says sin is sin and holiness is holiness.  The two can't mix.  Watering down God's commands is diluting God's commands.  His commands and laws are not written in gray, but black and white.

Purpose in your heart to speak words of life, turn from evil, do good in God's eyes, resist temptation, give love not vindication, and surround yourself with what is holy.

Let's purpose to:

...and happiness will follow.