Remaining Pure For Life, Not Just Until Marriage

"I am committed to remaining pure until marriage."  I said it.  Thousands upon thousands have said it.  I'm not one to nit-pick.  But somewhere along this road, I've had to work through things I was taught as a child, and sexuality was one of them.  And it still is something I work through.  But this quote gives the impression that once you are married, you are no longer pure.  I beg to differ.

There are certain thoughts I have had to wrestle with and even though I know the truth about them now, I still have skewed ideas about them.  When you've been taught from a young age about something that you view as truth, you have to consciously make an effort every time you think about that thing until slowly, after time, your new views sticks as truth.  And even then you have to make a conscious effort to stand by your new truth and not default to the old. It doesn't usually just change and that's it!  New truth!  You struggle with it.  You wrestle with it.  You claw your way through the muddled thoughts.  But when you do finally make it through the mud, you know what you believe.  For me, sexuality is one of them.

I don't want to say I'm committed to staying pure just until marriage.  I want to say I am committed to staying pure through life!  

Staying pure after marriage just looks different than pre-marriage and it can be just as much as a struggle.  It requires a healthy thought life where you refrain from looking and lusting at others.  It requires being open and transparent in all areas of communication; on phones, texts, messages, social media.  It requires being aware of how others view your body language and conversations, so as not to be flirting or leading someone on.  It requires dressing appropriately so a secondary message isn't being given and so your body is kept pure for the one you've pledged your love to.  Staying pure is a way of living...even after you're married.  After marriage, "pure" changes, it doesn't disappear.  Our pastor just asked this question last week at service, "Are you a trigger?"  Do you purposefully or even unintentionally dress a certain way to attract looks?  Do you flirt in your conversations?  Do you give parts of yourself that should be reserved for your husband or wife, to others?

God created us to be together with our partners.  Sex is not a dirty or bad thing before marriage and then magically becomes beautiful and wonderful after you're married.  It is always a beautiful thing but is meant to be enjoyed between two married people.  It can become perverted, sure.  But just because you are married does not mean that you are no longer pure.  Purity is required for all - unmarried, married, engaged, teens, or for those celebrating a 50 year anniversary.

For now I will say, "I am committed to staying pure through life!"  After all, that's what marriage vows are for.