"Why is there a cracker on my light?" I asked today. "I don't know," one of them offered, "Maybe the bird took it up there." The bird? As in our pet bird? The one that probably weighs less than the cracker itself?
No, my dear son. It wasn't the bird. But asking who did it will only lead to blank stares. It's like an unspoken code between the three of them to not rat the other one out. They have probably crawled into one of their many forts together and had a #brocode meeting where they swear to each other not to tell Mom who does what. Leave her guessing. Yes, that is how we'll survive. To get in to the club, you must do one random thing to drive her crazy. "Oh! I know! Go stick a cracker on the light! That should do it. We got your back, bro."
Is this a battle I need to win? What does it matter that it's there as long as one of the culprits gets it down. Choose your battles. I repeat this to myself often.
Over the years, I've come to the conclusion that there will be many head-scratchers that we would love to know the answer to. You know, who stuck the poopy diaper to the wall, smearing it up the wall. Or who stuck the cucumber pieces in my shoe. How the fresh roll of toilet paper is now soaking wet in the toilet bowl. Or the now pee-soaked towels. Who keeps forgetting to flush the toilet. Or when the toothpaste made its way to the ceiling of the bathroom. Or why the neighbor just showed up to return little boys clothes to us discovered in his backyard. I could ask, fight, plead, prod, punish, reward, or do any number of sweet-talk dances with them, but in the end....it really doesn't matter.
It's one of the stories I get to tell about life with boys. It's another giggle at night with my husband. It's some unspoken #brocode.
But just out of curiosity, one time at least, I'd love to know who was creative enough to get it up there, what their thought pattern was, and why. Just why.
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