"My house looks like I'm losing a game of Jumanji." I wish I knew who originally said this so I could tell them how much these words made me giggle, and cry.
I used to be embarrassed at the condition of my home. I dashed around like a mad-woman in sheer terror to pick up and clean the second someone said they were dropping by. I panicked. I turned into a psychotic clean-o-matic capable of screaming, shoving cleaning supplies in my kids' hands, and a little bit of head-spinning mixed with amazing agility and speed, such as had never quite been seen before. That sticky spot on the kitchen floor that's been there for a week? Gone in a second. The bird poop on the back of the chair that I hadn't got around to yet? Vanished in a swipe. Those totes and tubs that need to get to the garage? Picked up, and with a spin to grab that dirty sock on the way, placed in the correct spot on the shelf.
And then....I could shut it off as quickly as I turned it on, and smile with a calm disposition (while trying not to show them that I was still out of breath from my previous calisthenics), and greet the human at my door like a civilized adult. Would you like a cup of hot chocolate? Perhaps to sit on my freshly cleaned sofa? Would you like to see the top of my ceiling fan? Or would you like to visit my clean bathroom? Just don't open that closet door over there....
I did this until one day I realized five things:
1. I was trying to show others that I was someone I wasn't. I was putting on a show.
2. I was comparing myself to all of the other mom's homes I had visited that looked like magazines.
3. We homeschool. Unless you have discovered the magic code, all homeschoolers have messy homes. (If you have discovered the magic code, please share.)
4. My kids are seeing a Jekyll and Hyde side of me that shows them that we behave one way at home, and a completely other way when friends come to visit.
5. I was a maniac.
Living in a messy house means we lived here. We did life together. Our priorities were with each other. While I agree that we should maintain a certain level of cleanliness for bacteria's sake, and we should try to get to those spaces that can border on disease-breeding playgrounds, we can also get dangerously close to our home being an idol.
When I look around at a messy house, and all of the things to be put away, it reminds me again to live life. That puzzle that now has pieces strung across the floor? It was fun to put together with three little boy hands. That cup in the living room that never got picked up? It was a treat to watch that movie with the boys and break the no-food-in-the-living-room rule. The dirty sock on the floor? What a joy to remember the boys shedding their clothes to run outside to play in the water with laughs and shouts of glee.
I'm not advocating we become hoarders and sit lazily around watching the house become a junk yard. But I am saying let's be real. Our homes are where we (hopefully) spend time with our loved ones and make memories to last our lifetimes. I asked my teenager the other day what things I say to him regularly. He said, "Do the dishes." "Really?" I asked him. He followed up with, "And I love you." Phew! At least he followed up. I want him to remember the fun times, the things I said with love, the words spoken that bring life and love to their hearts. Maybe I'll just add some twinkle lights around the house and call it "retro."
This reminds me of the story of Mary and Martha from Matthew 10:38-42. "As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, 'Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!' 'Martha, Martha,' the Lord answered, 'you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.'" Martha was so worried about the appearance of her home that she neglected the most important thing, the thing that could give her happiness and life...Jesus.
I pray that my boys know that our home may not be perfect or clean, but it's the love we share together and with our Savior that matters most. We do attempt to keep up on the things that help us live in cleanliness like dishes, and laundry, and bathrooms. But everything else can wait when we are spending our time as a family, together.
If you come to visit now, please know that in our home we do life. Push those crumbs to the side of the table, move the basket of laundry to be folded over on the couch, and don't open any closet doors for your own safety. But join in on our shenanigans! Sit down with us while we chat with you! Let's enjoy each others' company and talk about the things of the Lord.
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