Homeschooling Boys

When we embarked on this homeschooling journey six years ago, I had no idea what I was in for, what I was to discover, and what I would learn about kids and more specifically, boys.  But over the years I have come to find the very things I was telling them not to do, are some of the things they need to do to learn and study and succeed.

I've been to homeschooling conventions, read books, and listened to seminars and used online resources.  I've read books on boys, and after having a few boys of my own, watched my kids succeed and grow.  While I don't claim to know it all, or even part of it for that matter, especially since mine are still relatively young (8th, 5th and 3rd grades), I have gleaned a few little nuggets over the years that I'll share with you.

One of the biggest problems with public or private schools for boys is the sheer amount of sitting involved, followed by the need to have quiet, and finished up with limited hands-on activities and more importantly, breaks.  Boys are hard-wired to need to move, make noises, and do what is being talked about.  Truth be told, I would have a hard time sitting through a typical school-day and it's supposedly geared toward me...a fellow female.  Schools aren't horrible and they serve their purpose.  I'm not anti-school.  However, test scores prove that girls thrive in that environment and boys are increasingly not.

One homeschool seminar I attended was with a doctor who studies the brains of boys and girls in different environments.  He shared with us such helpful tips and tricks and insightful information (such as some of the above information on schools), and I also discovered more in his books.  Here are a few ideas he had relayed to us:

• Boys have delayed reaction to information.  They need time to process, to take a break, and sift through the information.  They can take days longer than girls to connect their feelings to words.  
• Boys use more logic than emotion.  Males are highly intelligent when they are problem solving.  
• Boys express and expel emotions physically.  Not as much of their brain is used for emotions as girls.  
• Physical movement for boys can help stimulate an emotional response.  Sitting and talking is not easy for them to access their words.  

Along with this information, he presented to us a few practical ideas and tips to help a boy learn their best.

• Repetitive tapping, while driving females next to insane, actually helps a boy process the information.  Think of it as a compliment!  
• Boys need to get up and about often.  
• Teach to their learning style.  Many boys are hands-on learners.  
• Let them fiddle while listening.  
• Boys need to zone out periodically.  Their brains shut down all the way, except to keep them alive.  They are not processing information at this time like a girls' brain does.  They are "recharging" in a way.  

Another speaker I listened to had these words of advice for boys when learning:

• Most boys don't hear softer sounds as well as girls.  Think of a soft spoken teacher in a noisy classroom.  If you speak loud enough for the boys to hear, the girls think you are yelling at them.  Classrooms can be set up for failure for a boy.
• Boys make repetitive noise instinctively.  This drives girls crazy. 
• Boys draw verbs such as bullets flying, and girls draw nouns like houses and horses.  How we see the world is how we communicate.  Boys are about action.
• Let boys stand at the counter and do math, without limiting them to a single working space.  Make chairs optional.  
• Let boys hurt each other.  If they don't, they'll hurt themselves.  
• Make studying a game, but make sure it is possible to win.  

Does this make it sound like a typical classroom is an impossible environment for a boy to succeed in yet?  It's not impossible, but very difficult.  And I would be very proud of the ones who make it through with flying colors.  They pushed through and persevered despite the odds stacked against them.  When setting up your homeschool classroom or space, and when teaching, keep these things in mind.

Personally, these tips changed the way we homeschool...and with it my boys have thrived.  I have one child who has been known to read upside down on the couch, with his feet on the wall above the couch, his head on the cushion.  He roams the house when I read, but is the first one to recount the details of what I just said or read.  Another one designs mazes for us to complete while I'm reading, or plays Legos.  And another one colors or fiddles with an object.  We have a table for them to sit at when they do their schoolwork but it is extremely rare for them to actually use it.  More often than not, they are on a bed, a couch, the floor, or have made a fort to do schoolwork in.  I let them tap and it drives me crazy.  We take breaks after breaks after breaks.  I've tried both ways, sitting still and being up and about, and I can honestly say that they retain so much more when they are actively doing something.  We have exercise balls, bean bags, and pillows and blankets as our "chairs."  They have been known to do schoolwork on the trampoline, and when they get too wiggly, we break.  I have them re-tell me what I read or said, and have them re-tell me what they read too.  Many of our subjects are hands-on.

We have an non-traditional "school" here, but we have made an environment where the boys thrive.  We have a lot to learn still, but creating this space for them now, has helped them grasp concepts and understand far better than they did when we tried to do "school at home."  We, as homeschoolers, have the privilege of teaching our kids how they learn best.  Why do we try to create the same environment we are trying to shift away from?  Learning comes in so many forms, not just textbooks.  We have tried our hardest to create a learning environment for the boys to excel.